it's jokes
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"