it's jokes
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <: