it's jokes
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Hi 👋 I have some good ideas 💡. It was the best game I had to get in my...
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.