it's jokes
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.
And then it exploded.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.