it's jokes

Date

13 views ·

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Fridge

13 views ·

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Shower

3 views ·

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

Gay Guy

269 views ·

How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.

How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.

Tree

1 view ·

Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲

Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️

Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮

Plane

678 views ·

I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.

It didn't land too well.

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  • Talking tree

    10 views ·

    A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

    Girl

    16 views ·

    Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

    Donald Trump

    7 views ·

    A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

    Coffin

    4 views ·

    What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

    Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂