it's jokes
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
Why was the broom late? Because it had overslept.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?
Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
It's too long, sorry. >:)
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.