it's jokes
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”