it's jokes
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
Your hairline is so big, it looks like the TITANIC.
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.