it's jokes

Society is like chess, it's always whites vs blacks.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!

Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?

It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.