IT jokes

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

Kid 1: "It's a bird!"

Kid 2: "It's a plane!"

Me: "It's a terrorist!"

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?

She thought it was diet coke.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.

It couldn't answer.

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.