IT jokes
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.