IT jokes

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?

They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?

Teens: NO WAY!

Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!

Teens: O OK. 😤

I have it.

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The FBI."

"The FBI who?"

"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

I would tell a Koby joke...

But it would just crash and burn.

Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!