IT jokes
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"