IT jokes
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)