IT jokes
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo mama so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a bowl!
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.