IT jokes

What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!

Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

What is the shortest month of the year?

May, it only has 3 letters!

Why did the egg hide?

Because it was a little chicken!

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

Because the white guy actually did it.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?

9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football