IT jokes

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Finish the lyrics in the comments-

iTs CoRn!

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?

A s'more.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We’re closed."

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.

Only Cans.

How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.

How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.

How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.

It's a tower.

No, it's a plane.

Me: Nope, it's 9/11.