What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Intelligence Jokes
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
1+1? Too hard.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
