Intelligence jokes
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
1+1? Too hard.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.