What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
1+1? Too hard.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
