Intelligence jokes

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

Follow me if you know someone smart.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

Alya is so retarded.

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

3+3=****

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”