Intelligence jokes

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

3+3=****

Follow me if you know someone smart.

Alya is so retarded.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.