Intelligence jokes
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Blondies.