Intelligence jokes

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"