Intelligence jokes

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...

Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

What does Marine stand for?

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.

I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.

Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"