If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
3+3=****
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
