Insult jokes

Y'all is ugly!

"Float like a cracker, sting like a beaner!"

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

Your head looks like a joke.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!

Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

You're so ugly, even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

Yo, your hairline look like a cup.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"