Insult jokes

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.

Your head looks like a joke.

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?

A mathive dick.

It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

What's one way to drain someone's ego?

Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.