Insult jokes
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your brother is gay, and so are you.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
Ur mum.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx