INS jokes
PP in the poo poo.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Your hairline is in a different area code.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.