INS jokes
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
What happened to people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? They swapped races.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!