INS jokes
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
What are Eric and Dylan known for at Columbine High School?
They pulled the greatest senior prank in all of history.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!
Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"
#she is sex*
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.