INS jokes
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.