INS jokes
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...