INS jokes
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.