INS jokes

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Mirror

  • Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

    Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

    Contest

  • I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

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    Alien

  • An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

    The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

    Glock

  • When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

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    Canada

  • How did pioneers name Canada?

    They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

    That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

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    Road

  • You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.

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    Nun

  • Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

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    Citizen

  • Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

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