INS jokes
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!