INS jokes
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!