INS jokes
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.