INS jokes
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?
No one likes them.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.