INS jokes

Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

Hi, this is a good prank I did.

So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

(Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*

Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.

Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.

The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.

What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!

What do you call an orphan in Alabama?

A virgin.

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!