INS jokes
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Guys, add me in Discord.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
You know, "f" in orphan stands for family.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!