INS jokes
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
I like to drown in a pool.
I mean billiards...
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.