INS jokes
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.