INS jokes
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."