INS jokes

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."