INS jokes
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Balls in your jaws.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.