INS jokes

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

Charger: Yo, Phone.

Phone: Yeah?

Charger: Can I plug all in you?

Phone: Ayooo!

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.

I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

YouTubers: Among Us in real life.

Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.

Sonic Boom in my ass.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

Look in the mirror.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.