INS jokes
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What do Pac-Man and Olaf have in common?
They are both gay.
What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?
CAT!
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.