INS jokes
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Finish the lyrics in the comments-
iTs CoRn!
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.