INS jokes
Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11!
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.