Infant jokes
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
Baby 🍼
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."