Infant jokes
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
da baby
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-