Incarceration jokes

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"