My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Incarceration Jokes
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
