What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What does Nelson mindella and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
