What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
