Im Jokes

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

Like if I'm fine-ish.

I'm going to piss on the floor.

Read if gay.

Aha!

Share the word lmfao (even tho im 5'1)

A screenshot of a definition of "National throw short people day" which states "On October 21, you can anybody under 5'6" with no permission needed. Prepare to be yeeted for it is national throw short people day" It also says by Pug? October 6, 2021 and has like and dislike buttons.

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

I'm Batman.

I thank god that im not ugly as you

I'm weird.

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.

I'm in school shooting. #USA

Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

I've Benin there.

I'm Ghana go.

I've got to Togo.

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?