Im jokes
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
I'm emo, by the way.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I'm illegal.
I'm bald.