Im jokes

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯

Friend: You can have my burrito baby.

Gay.

Friend: *begins to moan*

Me: Finna hang up.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

Roses are black, violets are black.

I’m colorblind.

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.