Illegal jokes

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?

Because it's ill-eagle.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.