Illegal Jokes

What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

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