Illegal jokes
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
"Black midget porn is in 911."
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator